By Jim Duncan
Stranger than fiction
Nothing in this column is an April Fool's joke. The truth about food is often
stranger than fiction. You can eat it, too. Bob Blumer, host of Food Network's "Surreal
Gourmet," has published "Glutton for Pleasure," a cookbook filled
with April Fool's type jokes. It features recipes for such things as meatloaf
cake, faux french fries made of pound cake, "dog biscuits" that are
actually spice cookies and "flowerpot salad" - a mélange of
greens topped with edible flowers served in a flowerpot. Even if you don't
cook, 2011 has produced plenty of mind-boggling food stories.
There's a jerky black market in New York. According to Buffalo News, police in western New York have been looking for a thief who only steals beef jerky. Cheektowaga cops reported the bandit hit six convenience stores there, plus others in Tonawanda, Kenmore and Amherst. "The only thing we can surmise is that he's reselling them," said Cheektowaga Police Captain James Speyer.
The government is encouraging obese people to overeat. The Seattle Times reported that a government-funded study was seeking already obese volunteers in St. Louis to willingly "add 1,000 excess calories a day to their normal diet," in order "to better assess the medical implications of their condition."
First Lady pushes junk food. The A.P.reported that Michele Obama took time off from her anti-obesity campaign to defend the following menu that she ordered for her White House Super Bowl Party - bratwurst, kielbasa, cheeseburgers, deep dish pizza, Buffalo wings, German potato salad, twice baked potatoes, Snyder's potato chips, pretzels, dips, salad, ice cream, Yuengling lager, Hinterland pale ale and amber ale and White House honey ale.
Authorities had to stop Packer fans from eating their opponent. Yahoo News reported that a Minnesota bar for Green Bay fans celebrated their team's play-off clinching victory over the Chicago Bears by roasting a 180-pound black bear in front of customers. Health authorities intervened to prevent Packer fans from eating the bear.
A Public Enemy rapper targeted Clinton, Iowa, for a fried chicken restaurant. New York rapper Flava Flav, best known for his work in the group Public Enemy, chose Clinton, Iowa, for the prototype of his new fried chicken joint, which he opened next door to a Kentucky Fried Chicken.
" Following the pasta" is a new police tactic. The A.P. reported that Italian police caught a cocaine trafficker who had eluded them for 11 years by tailing his daughter as she brought his favorite restaurant lasagna to his secret hideaway.
You have to dress up to go to McDonald's. The Daily Mail reported that McDonald's in Lancashire, U.K., has instituted a dress code after 7 p.m. banning hooded sweatshirts, tracksuits and athletic attire, as a "security measure." They also began hiring bouncers to enforce it.
Chinese pigs are potty trained. Reuters reported that Taiwan pork farmers have begun toilet training their pigs in order "to reduce ground waste and air pollution." Early tests found that the practice had increased survival rates, too.
A snake died from silicon poisoning after biting a buxom model. AOL News reported that Israeli model Orit Fox was rushed to a hospital after being bitten on her breasts (called "the largest in Israel") by an aroused boa constrictor. The snake reportedly died of silicon poisoning.
You can get "bunga bunga" with pizza. Forbes reported that a Polish pizzeria is selling a pie that honors sexual predator and Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi. Called the "bunga bunga," the pizza is topped with anchovies, figs, prosciutto and black pepper. The magazine said that combination of ingredients is believed in Poland to be as "spicy and wild as the Italian leader's sex parties."
NFL strike threatens chicken industry. WLS Radio interviewed a chicken industry executive who warned America that a pro football strike would cause massive lay-offs due to football's effect on chicken wing consumption.
Dennis Kucinich sued his lunch. CNN reported that U.S. Rep. Dennis Kucinich of Ohio sued a Congressional cafeteria after eating an "unwholesome and unfit for human consumption" sandwich wrap. APRIL FOOLS
Caption: Meat Loaf Cake from "Glutton for Pleasure."