Burger King’s new “loaded steakhouse burger.”

Fast food blockbusters

The fast food industry is re-inventing itself, rolling out new products faster than a Hollywood studio. All big chains now employ kitchen think tanks dedicated to developing new products that often change brand images. Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) has been touting burritos, now called wraps. Taco Bell pushes doughnuts, as “cinnamon twists.” McDonald’s, Burger King (BK) and Wendy’s all now sell chicken and salads. The industry advertises new products like Hollywood, too — launching a “blockbuster” almost every week this spring.

To keep up with the latest fashions, I enlisted the aid of some foodies under age 12. We tested BK’s new “loaded steakhouse burger,” advertised as coming with “the signature ingredients of steakhouse dining, including A1 steak sauce!” Despite that claim, BK had not redecorated with tablecloths, dead animals and cowboy art. This burger was too new to make the company’s “updated” nutrition report, even on their Web site. We suspected that disclosure was not in BK’s best interest — one young colleague said it “tasted like tons of calories.” The burger included a cubed steak, looking strangely like it had been cooked only on one side, several strips of bacon, sauce, fried onion rings and “loaded mashed potatoes” on a corn-dusted bun. We had to look hard to find any mashed potatoes. The beef was chewy and dry; its swampy sauces were sweet and confusing. A BK promotion promised “the indulgence of an entire steak dinner at a fraction of the cost.” The kids agreed this compared well “to frozen Salisbury steak dinners,” but those cost considerably less than the $7 this burger set us back.

Next we compared two new chalupas being promoted by Taco Bell (TB) and Taco John’s (TJ). TB markets their bacon club chalupa as sure way for women to attract hot men. A budding humanist on our panel asked, “Why would girls want to meet boys who are attracted to pigs?” Maybe someone at TB can tell her. She also admitted that she liked the way TB grilled their tortilla and she praised its low fat fiesta sauce as a good option to “icky cheese sauce.” All of us preferred TJ’s new chalupas to TB’s, finding TJ tortillas lighter and their fillings snappier. TJ’s also had a superior condiment bar, which included several fresh hot sauces and fresh pico de gallo. TB offered only aluminum packets of processed sauce.

At KFC and Wendy’s outlets, we sampled new “toasted wraps” and “chicken wraps” respectively. Again, my colleagues and I unanimously preferred the same product— Wendy’s. I found them to be the best bargain of our entire research project, at $1.49. Both KFC’s and Wendy’s chicken wraps were commendably restrained, with just lettuce, cheese and a minimal dressings on flour tortillas. If this had been a BK product, there would have probably been three extra ingredients to overwhelm the chicken. Wendy’s wrap stood out by delivering far more chicken — a long breast filet compared to three popcorn nuggets in the KFC wrap. Wendy’s spicy batter drew raves from my colleagues, who also panned their dry, grilled version.

Just when I thought we were up to date, Pizza Hut (PH) launched new chicken Alfredo and marinara pasta dishes, at large pizza prices. We sampled the latter which the kids rated “as good as Stouffer’s.” Stouffer’s doesn’t deliver, so maybe PH has a winner here.

Bottom line: Wendy’s chicken wrap was the best bargain and the best new product. Taco John’s made the best chalupa. BK’s newly loaded steakhouse burger was the worst thing any of us tasted all week.

Side dishes
The Downtown Farmers Market opens Saturday. Their press release included six paragraphs about dog etiquette and another about entertainment, but it named no farmers. Farmer Milt Sheeder, whose free-ranged poultry and eggs have been one of the market’s best draws, won’t participate this year. … The Ingersoll Dairy Queen gave up its DQ status but hopes to re-open under a new aegis. … Irina’s patio season opens Saturday with Quadro vodka and beer specials and live music. … Shane’s Rib Shack will give free racks of ribs and personalized T-shirts to the first 100 people at each of its outlets on May 17. CV

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